Meet The Teedletiden

Meet the teedletiden: half hobbit, half elf, half dwarf, half squirrel, half friendly dickensonian street urchin. (They belong to my work in progress.)

I wish I could spring through the trees like they do. An average of three-feet in height and all muscle, they’re entirely human with only a few anatomical differences. The dominant one is their beards. All males have thick ones and beard length indicates rank. Woman are *thankfully* unbearded, but they do have silky wisps about the cheeks (which are quite pretty, if I may say so). Males are (unimaginatively) called beards; females, wisps. 

They have small noses, wide almost childish eyes, wooly hair, and dress fancifully. I don’t recommend calling them cute. They’ll just laugh at you. (Like I’m supposed to know what that means!)

In case you’re entertaining thoughts of raiding their cities and capturing some of them to bring back as friends, I should warn you you’ll lose. They tend their forests, thinning trees and carefully training branches so they can run and jump from one tree to another. What with their crossbows and javelins, you’d soon become fertilizer for a chestnut.

Now, if you just want a snack, then they’re the ones to go to. They’ve gardened the forests till they’re stuffed with fruits, nuts, berries, mushrooms, tubers, vines, etc so that it’s really no bother to get lost in the woods. 

Covering all the teedletiden cultures would take too much time, but there’s one feature they all share. If you travel in teedletiden lands, you must bring a stoic with you. The teedletiden are habitually producing music and their preference is woodwinds. Some of their airs stir visitors so that they weep on leaving the land and are never the same.

So now I’ve told you only a fraction of what there is to know.

I guess you’ll have to meet them for yourself.

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